When i was a child, i had a dream a lot that i’ve ability to fly easily. Flying became one of my obsession. That’s probably why i like to watch Superman, Star Wars, Star trek and wanted to be an astronaut. I want to roam the sky and  reached the final frontier. Somehow i can feel its there.

Growing up, the feeling of flying it’s still there, but then i realized that it was my deepest longing for God. I started to do lots of shalat, as the way for my soul to fly (mi’raj). And it feels good! I testify that there is no actual worldly problem or situation that cannit be solved through shalat. It is when we tried to open up ourselves and let God’s power shines on us and magically moves our worlds.

I still like to fly. And i feel the closest thing to feel like flying is when i swim. It’s in the moment where my body just floating in the water. What a joy! 

I have learned that behind our desire for something - or even someone - there is an underlying divine desire that is waiting to be discovered or perhaps re-discovered. It is the knowledge of who we are and who God is. Something that our soul knows since the beginning of time. When all of our souls testified “balaa syahidna” , yes we testify to God’s question of “Am I not your Lord?” A very intimate and beautiful question where the answer of the question lies in the question itself. How can we not love Him?❤️

Leiden, 31 December 2024

10.13 morning